i already hear my dad disowning me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
