so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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