Are we in a gay sports bar?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
