Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize