She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
