: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
