the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
