i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
