ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
