all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize