help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
