So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do vagina's smell?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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