Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Acid is not a monday night drug
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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