Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There's always time for handjobs
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
