You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
