Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i think im in europe. pls send help
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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