so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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