Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
