first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize