Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
