Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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