It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I will be naked everywhere
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
