season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
