So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
