If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
