so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
