I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
