I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
