the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
