Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
