in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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