Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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