Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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