My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
