I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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