My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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