Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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