if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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