dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
