My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize