the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
