i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
