We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
