We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
