he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
