So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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