He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
