I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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