Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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