It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
