dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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