In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
