Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
