I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
