I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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