Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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