You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
