one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
