i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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