You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize