Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
