...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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