My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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