Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
