My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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