He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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