if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Non-Jews are for practice
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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