We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We got so high we made milksteak
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
