Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
