you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize