so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
