my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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