you're like a bully in the Christmas story
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
