I want to stick my p in your. b.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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