i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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