In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
