SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
