Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize