I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
