if i can run in heels then i can drive
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize